


Breach of Human Emotion

by MalachiJones (miasmicdisaster)



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Light BDSM, Light Choking, Name-Calling, PWP, Pining, Pining!Kady, Smut, Spoilers, Spoilers for Season 2, Strap-Ons, Unrequited Love, hatefucking, rough, shadeless!julia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 11:10:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11416701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miasmicdisaster/pseuds/MalachiJones
Summary: "Kady could still see it some times, the breach of human emotion as it welled in the corners of Julia's almond eyes - the small parting of lips as she exhaled. Hell, sometimes the malevolent smile Julia would give off would twinkle a bit with sincerity, the smile Kady used to adore. The smile Julia used to get when the white wine kicked in, or when she spoke of Fillory and Further. There was some human in Julia, but no one bothered to look for it."Kady has trouble getting along with Julia now that her shade is gone, and they get into a particularly interesting argument one morning when getting together to research about Reynard.





	Breach of Human Emotion

**Author's Note:**

> *** PLEASE READ ***  
> I know this fic is coming off like I hate either Julia or Kady, or they hate each other, but i don't think that!! They are best bitches!! They are so cute!! I love them!  
> They do get into a fight and this fic is pretty centered around their conflicting emotions with each other, more specifically Kady's love for Julia, and her not being able to feel it. This causes a lot of anger for Kady, at least in my canon. *shrug*.  
> I proofread this once, so sorry if there are errors!!  
> This fic will also be posted on my tumblr: malszone  
> Also, I'm a virgin. Oops.

Since Julia started acting ruthlessly, probably because she was essentially empty when it came to her shade, her and Kady found a lot more conflict in their friendship.

For one, Julia was very hard to talk to. She used to be the most emotional, most empathetic, most intuitive person Kady ever knew - it was one of the things that drew her in. Kady always had trouble opening up, or rather, communicating her emotions; she would much rather bottle them up, show no signs of weakness. This, of course, festered quietly, until she would snap at someone for something so little, and ruin the day for herself. She knew this wasn't healthy, she knew; but it just felt so much easier than confronting herself.

Julia dripped emotion, and not only did she provide it; she handled it elegantly, picking up shards of broken hearts with delicate fingers, sweeping up the debris of whatever explosion of emotion she'd felt that day. Kady needed that. Kady needed someone to be there, someone so emotional to stand beside her, to cancel out her self-proclaimed cocksure behavior.

But, Julia lost her shade.

Julia was even more brash than Kady was.

Unavoidable retorts from whatever Kady said, corrections, and petty insults replaced the loving, caring, supportive Julia she'd known before. Kady could still see it some times, the breach of human emotion as it welled in the corners of Julia's almond eyes - the small parting of lips as she exhaled. Hell, sometimes the malevolent smile Julia would give off would twinkle a bit with sincerity, the smile Kady used to adore. The smile Julia used to get when the white wine kicked in, or when she spoke of Fillory and Further. There was some human in Julia, but no one bothered to look for it.

Kady had no one to balance out her fiery attitude, her impulsiveness; no one. So fights between them grew stronger and fiercer the more they spent time together.

They'd fight for days sometimes. Kady wasn't even sure what started them half the time; one misplaced word, or a look her way would send her into absolute rage of what had been done to Julia. Her Julia. The water to her fire. The air to her earth. And most of the time, Julia didn't even seem remotely saddened by what happened to her. She felt stronger without her shade. She felt better. So they would go on tangents for hours, ranging from petty insults to complete reads of character; this became the daily for Julia and Kady.

Today... was different. Kady wasn't sure who started it, she'd assure herself. But she knew it was herself. That fiery attitude paired well with her deep-seeded hatred for what Julia had become, what she wanted back.

They started off simple; small pushes, a raising of voices.

Then, with a blink of the eye, Kady's lips were on Julia's.

They stood in front of each other, lips mashed together, neither daring to move in Julia's apartment.  Julia was just as surprised as Kady. It took a moment before one of them, she wasn't sure who, broke the kiss.

"Why the _fuck_ did you do that?" Julia gave that evil smirk of hers. But, this time, it didn't annoy Kady. It shook her, like the ground underneath her feet started rumbling and the fire in her blood made its way to her center, pulling and tugging at her heart strings, before settling down right between her hipbones.

Julia noticed this quick, and seeing Kady's pupils as wide as they were, slack-jawed, lip quivering, made her feel something. It shocked her , whatever was tingling in her chest - it'd been a few weeks since she'd felt anything similar to that.

The room was dead silent for a good fifteen seconds, until both of them noticed each other breathing heavily.

Panting, Kady purred, "Fuck you."

"You obviously want to." Julia probed further, stepping slowly closer to the slightly taller one. "Didn't know you swung that way, _Diaz_."

"Didn't know you did either, _Wicker_." Kady stammered, poison and lust slithered on her tongue, wetting her own lips.

The gap closed between them, nearly; Julia's chest pressed against Kady's, wrapping her arms around her. Their faces so close together, Julia felt the rumbling in her chest again. It made its way lower, and lower, and Julia gasped softly at the new emotion she was feeling. It was nothing like what she'd felt before. This was different. She didn't feel happy or aroused necessarily; she felt-

"Kady," Julia breathed, stepping onto the tips of the taller one's toes almost childishly, kneading and grabbing and pulling, begging for closeness and warmth.

"Do you want me?" Kady's head tilted softly to the left as she contemplated. The thought of making Julia feel again sent her over the top in joy; she could have Julia back. Not forever, she certainly can't heal her shade, but she could, just for an hour or two, make Julia feel so good she'd love Kady back.

Now, it was Kady's turn to recognize the other's swallowed irises, flickering up and down towards Kady's mouth, down to whatever pre-torn concert tank top she was wearing, to the small curvature of cleavage in the center of her chest. Julia mewled in response so quietly, Kady almost missed it. By the time Julia's head raised, their noses brushed each other, and Kady had enough.

In what felt like a split second, Kady pushed her against the bar separating the kitchen and the living space - almost knocking the barstools over with her force. Julia felt a slight pain in the center of her back as the granite hit her, making her yelp in pain, before turning into a breathy moan as Kady enveloped her in a kiss.

Their mouths danced for few slow beats, and Kady pondered how long she'd wanted this. How long she's wanted to kiss Julia, to hold her hands beside her head, interlace their fingers, and just... be. And here it was. It was happening. Julia was rubbing her thumbs across Kady's knuckles, letting Kady suck on her bottom lip until it was swollen and pink. Kady tore one hand from Julia's to reach down, sticking it in the back pockets of her cuffed jeans, groping as Julia parted their lips to let out a few profanities as she kneaded back against Kady's hand.

"Do you want me?" Kady echoed herself, and it took Julia no time to answer. She nodded her head quickly, hair bouncing slightly, falling onto her shoulders and _fuck_ Julia had the prettiest chest. Her skin freckled along her collarbones, and Kady imagined what she'd look like without her shirt on. "Do you want me?" She repeated; she wanted to make sure. Wanted vocal consent.

"Please, please, yes, yes, God," Julia stammered, eyes fluttering shut. "I want you. I want this."

Kady's turn to smirk, "Tell me if you want to stop."

Julia's eyes opened in a heartbeat, but before she could question Kady's plan, she was flipped around, shirt pulling up slightly and touching the cool of granite countertops on her stomach. Whatever chill she had didn't last long, as Kady's arm snaked around her waist, pulling her into Kady's hips. The world felt warm, then. Everything went warm. The other hand rested on the countertop in front of her, as Kady kissed her way down the the collar of the button-down blouse she was wearing. Julia panted and moaned at the sensation of the warm lips on her neck.  There really was nothing in her past sexual relationships she could compare it to - this was a new experience. Kady was a new experience. Her tongue danced and her teeth bit bruises behind her ears and somehow made it all feel heavenly.

Kady's hands slid together, stopping for a moment to grab at Julia's breasts roughly, earning a groan of pleasure from her, before ripping the shirt off its buttons swiftly. Julia gasped loudly, watching some buttons fall to the ground.

"That was fourty-eight dollars," She whined.

Kady's hand's snaked up to wrap around Julia's throat - not applying pressure, just simply holding. "I'll get you all the ones you want."

It took no time to pull it off herself, fumbling with the front-snapping bra on herself. Once their was no clothing on her upper body, she began taking kicking off her shoes. "Bedroom. Right now."

They followed each other, taking brief seconds to toss their clothes wherever they landed. Julia looked back to see Kady, naked from the waist-up, hopping on one leg as she took off her boots.

_What have I gotten myself into._

Julia laid down on the bed first, and Kady on top of her, planting kisses from her knees all the way up to her chest, to her lips again. "You can be such," she paused, lowering herself back down to her breasts, planting a kiss in between them. "A _brat_."

Just the name, paired finely with the feeling of Kady's lips, now on her nipple, sent her head flying back, her back arching, a series of profanities falling out with each breath.

"What do you want, _whore_?"

Julia sat up, grabbing a fist full of Kady's hair and yanking back, causing the taller one to lean back onto her hands, moaning softly. _Likes hair-pulling_ , Julia noted.

"This little _whore_ wants her _baby_ to fuck the hell out of her."

With both hands, Kady pushed Julia back onto her back. "Do you have anything?"

Julia nodded quickly, hand sliding between her thighs, almost absentmindedly to start rubbing. "Top drawer of my dresser. Perks of living alone."

Kady jumped off the bed, walking across the room and opening the drawer. There wasn't much - a vibrator, some lube, condoms mostly. She grabbed the one thing that caught her interest. "A strap on?"

Her hand was now stroking herself fairly fast. "Yes, yeah, um," she cleared her throat, trying to bite down the desperate moans escaping from her mouth. "It's not my first go round."

"Little bitch," Kady mumbled, a smile on her face as she grabbed the strap on and walked back.

Kady wasn't really familiar with this toy, specfically - she's never really needed it, seeing as she's only ever gotten physical with people that have dicks. She looked at the foreign object, before crawling onto the bed on her knees, placing the device on her pelvis.

"Here, let me help." Julia insisted, flipping onto her stomach and slowly pulling the cloth belts through their harnesses. Kady looked down at her, and felt a twinge of something almost romantic through the haze of lust. Julia was gorgeous, and not only that, but such a good person. Such a wonderful heart. Part of her wanted to hold out hope for getting Julia's shade back, but another part of her knew it was gone... this was the closest to love Julia will ever feel again.

_After all, who could love someone like me?_

Julia looked up patiently, as Kady dazed out. "You look like you saw a ghost."

"More like an angel."

Julia laughed gently, "that was a terrible jo-"

Kady cut her off, pushing her back and kissing her roughly. With one free hand, Kady dragged her fingertips all the way down the sweat of Julia's chest, to her stomach, until they finally rested on her core.

Her clit was hard already, and Julia moaned loudly and the first feeling of contact. The noises she was making went right to Kady's pussy. She explored with her fingers for a beat before finding her entrance, making sure she was all nice and wet, and christ, she was. Kady pulled away from the kiss, before looking down at her, drinking in her lustful appearance.

"This doesn't make us friends again." Kady mumbled, and she hated every word she said. "You're still a _bitch_."

"You're still a _slut_." Julia chimed in, "But now you can be a _slut for me._ "

With that, Kady sat up, spreading Julia's legs even more than they already were, reaching down and grabbing the strap-ons tip - rubbery and black - and rubbed her pussy gently with it. Kady monitored her movements carefully, making sure to take in any signs of discomfort or pain, but none were found; only the mouth-wateringly beautiful look on Julia's face.

So she pushed in.

And God, the sound.

It took no time before they began a steady pace, Julia moaning so loud Kady had to wonder if her neighbors were going to come knocking. There was something so fucking hot about it all: Julia's knees pushed towards her shoulders, suckling on Kady's first two fingers, the heat of them both, the wet noise of skin. It brought Kady right to the edge without even being touched. Julia grabbed her by the hips and rubbed circles into her sides and Kady sat on her knees tall, pushing in and out faster and faster.

The fucking could have lasted forever and it still wouldn't be enough.

"Kiss me," Julia mewled, "Please, Kady. I want you to kiss me."

So she did. Kady kissed her, really. For the first time, kissed her. A deep, passionate kiss of trust, and Julia felt so happy for a moment. She felt. God, Kady was so in love with Julia. She wishes she wasn't, because she knows she can't love her back, but just the feeling of Julia, trembling and writhing with orgasm, feeling that emotion drip off of her again - that was it.

Kady locked herself up and threw away the key, because holy shit, if she would ever accept any emotion, it was going to be her love for Julia. She would confront it, let it in. Live with it.  Deal with it. Let her heart shatter and tear itself to shreds if it meant one more moment next to her.

And it did.

Julia came hard, and she came fast. Kady let her ride it out, and took off the strap on, tossing it on the ground beside the bed. She sat beside Julia, watching the waves of euphoria role off her.

When Julia opened her eyes, Kady saw the breach of human emotion welled up in the corners of her almond eyes, sliding their way down her temples. Because Julia felt it. And it was gone. And it was never coming back.

Kady held in her emotions. It could be the lack of sexual relief, or just her goddamn self, but she was crying, as well, because she could see it. She saw the life come back to her for just a moment.

And the sight of Kady crying could almost make Julia feel something again.

_Almost_.

**Author's Note:**

> This was gonna be an intense hatefuck fic but I really fell in love with Pining!Kady. I also realized I physically cannot write without some sort of angst. Blessing or curse?  
> Yeah, I know, Kady crying is a bit of a stretch, but in my imagination she cries a lot. Hate me  
> Tell me your thoughts!!!  
> tumblr: malszone


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